malam yang buta

Pada satu malam buta, aku terjaga daripada tidur. Apabila ku melihat kiri kanan ku, tiada seorang pun yang berada bersamaku. Lalu, aku bangun dan jalan balik ke bilik ku dengan memakai crocs berwarna cokelat. Ku dapat merasa yang aku sedang meninggalkan phi gamma yang dipuaka oleh jururawat perang sivil. Selepas perjalanan yang memakan dua minit itu, sampailah badan aku dihadapan bilik timur 132. Tetapi minda dan pikiran aku terpaut pada bunyi yang dibuat oleh dua orang manusia yang berada dibilik hadapan bilik aku. Tampaknya, mereka berdua bernafas dengan begitu pantas dan mengeluarkan bunyi-bunyi erotik. babi.. nak buat pun jangan lah kuat sangat. ni bagi seluruh dunia ni dengor buat ape? hampeh...

pada waktu sekarang

Aku tidak boleh berganjak daripada kerusi sofa yang sungguh selesa ini. Terasa diriku terikat pada kerusi ini dengan rantai aloi yang diperbuat daripada besi dan gangsa. Mindaku tercengat memikir pasal semua kerja rumah yang berada dipundakku. Walaupun kelopak mataku makin lama makin menjadi seberat 2 guni beras, aku tidak boleh tidur kerana segala kaffein yang ku telah minum pada sebelah petang. Badanku panas seperti ayam goreng didalam kuali yang penuh dengan minyak masak cap Pisau. Sepasang kekasih sibuk bercinta dan bercumbuan dihadapanku. Terasa aku nak bagi penampar kat muka laki itu kerana dia sibuk bertanya kepada perempuan tersebut sama ada dia boleh memasukkan zakarnya ke dalam faraj perempuan tersebut. Menjijikan. Begitulah kisah hidup aku pada waktu sekarang

a quick thought - religion

Man being at the mercy of the subconsciousness of human being.

If fate exists, then why the heaven God has to put man on Earth? Just to please him?

Why is the equilibrium of Earth is not at the center of the balance?

What is the meaning of life if there is no after-life?

How humans get HIV?

As we know, HIV, Human Immunodeficiency Virus, is an incurable disease. HIV has multiple ways of transmitting itself by means of blood transmission, breast feeding, sexual intercourse and blood product.

These are the ways of HIV transmission, not the ways of HIV creation . Yes. Have anyone wonder how HIV is produced? haha...

One interesting fact about HIV - HIV is only created by baboons.

So, according to Charles Darwin, humans are evolution of apes. Therefore, the HIV virus is in the human's family tree and past down over centuries till today.

But what if Charles Darwin is wrong. Many oppose the theory of evolution. So for people who do not believe in Darwin, the simple explanation on how humans got affected goes something like this - one point in life, one human must have had sex with a baboon

The ugly spells

The issue regarding Indian society.

One day, my friend Duo-Ren asked me a simple yet in-depth question, 'Why is the solidarity in Indian society is not that strong?'

Duo-Ren is from Sekinchan, a place where Indians are hardly to be seen. Even he realizes this problem in the Indian society. When he asked me that question, I was taken back for few seconds before answering him. Clearly, the solidarity among the Indian society is a big question mark.

My friend further elaborated on the Chinese community help each other by their different means of establishing associations and raising funds.

I was quite ashamed that my Indian society has all the similar associations and funds as the Chinese, however, the gains from those establishments are benefited by only certain parties. For example, what happened to the Maika Holdings? It was supposed to help the Indians. Instead, the people in charge 'robbed' the Indians in daylight. I still remember my grandmother cursing the the Maika Holdings because my grandfather had invested more that RM1000 20 years ago.
20 years ago, RM1000 was really a large sum of money after considering the inflation incurred over the years. Indians steal from Indians.

Besides greed, there is another reason why the Indians cannot really stay under one roof. When I told my friend about this reason, he was shocked that this segregating element still exists in this modern era. Caste. Yes. This thing does exist until this very day. The problem of caste is that it creates a sense of ego in individuals. The ones from upper caste degrade the ones from lower caste. The people from upper class feels that they are too good to mingle around with people from lower caste. The people from lower caste just sort of accepts who they are always give in to the people from upper caste. Caste was created during the ancient days where people were categorized who they were. If you are a knight, you are from the upper caste. If you are a drainage worker, you are from the lower caste. This is how caste is passed down in families for decades till today. So, it is completely ridiculous to categorize people by caste in this modernizing world as the descendant of a drainage worker could turn out to be a nobel prize winner.

This ego also leads to jealousy. When person is doing better than one, immediately negative thoughts will knock on the door. Instead of being happy for the person, he or she will say bad thing about the person. For instance, when I first got my scholarship, many people said that I easily got the scholarship out of thin air. When I heard this, I was like what?? It was my years of hard work and experience that enabled me to get the grades and speak in the interview. Not some pagan magic nor cable. Unfortunately, my own far far relatives were not happy. I thought blood was supposed to be thicker than water. Looks like something has diluted it.

I am not complaining about the issues among Indian community. The Chinese have their Kantonese, Hokkien, Hakka and the Christians have their Catholics, Methodists, Anglicans and yet, they can be harmonious. So why dont the Indians wake up from the spells that held us and catch up with the rest so that we can progress in becoming a more united community of the world.

Deisi

Emotions...

Emotions..

Emotions is like quantum mechanics. Emotions is very hard to be handled.

Emotions shape the very second that we live. Emotions make you happy and sometimes make you cry. Emotions can lead you to heaven and hell.

The basic emotions:-

Anger
When someone is mad, i mean really really mad, he or she can even go up to the extend of killing someone. Anger is not a good emotion at all. This is the kind of emotion someone should try to avoid. We should be able to control our own anger.

Happy
This feeling of joy is what everyone should feel to make a better place to live. yay!!

Love
Love is a feeling of likeness but at a higher level. Loves reached nirvana in the 'like' family. You can like your dog, your pc, and even your feet.
You can also love a person. The one who is going to give the meaning of love is the the one for you. For now, I dont know what love means, but( a very big but here), but, I know loving someone is not the definition of life. And one more thing. Love causes temporary blindness and illusions . Make sure you always bring a telescope because the moon is not as beautiful as it looks.

Emo ( the new term for SAD)
Yup... emo is the word..a lot of people like to emo. Being sad dont solve your problem. When I was small, my mum used to tell that the devils will eat people who cry at night. haha...hey, she even explained why. Its because, when you cry, your body will become weak, so the devils can eat you up easily. In a way its true. When you cry or sad, your body will become weak. Dont make yourself weak, be strong.

Last but not least, life is like a roller coaster ride. Just put your hand up and shout your throat out to enjoy the ride.

Deisi

...

I really dont have anything to say for the past few days.

Just afraid to think that from next Monday onwards, I will have live in stupid uniten again for sem 3. hope everything goes well as planned. hehe.. I rather prefer to rot at home than going back to uniten.

I miss my school, st anthony.